“Everybody wants a magic solution to
their problems, the issue is, everybody
refuses to believe in magic”
~Lewis Carol’ from Alice in Wonderland
We grow painlessly and effortlessly when we are willing to let go of the idea that we are broken, that we need healing and fixing.
The outcome of our experiences is not one of un-healed, but one of uneducated, we lack the knowledge about our emotions that we need for us to manage and understand them, accept them as normal and inevitable and to eventually love them for the wisdom they hold.
Human beings are made up of four aspects; the mental, physical, emotional and soulful but when the sum of what we are taught about the emotional is ‘celebrate some emotions and demonise others’ and the soulful is nothing more than some vague mumblings about religion or ‘physic stuff’ it’s inevitable that suffering is the only outcome.
We are feeling, sentient beings, we have these things called emotions and we are stuck with them like it or not.
…and if we really want the changes we need to make and if we really want a lasting solution to our pain, fear and disconnect the question we must ask ourselves is ‘how is avoiding, fearing and attempting to heal that which we are raised to avoid and fear, working out for you?’
Often, in order to move forward we have to be honest, open and brave and admit that the dozens of strategies we have at our disposal that help us to temporarily relieve our misery have simply taught us to cope with that, that never changes.
The gathering of knowledge is never a painful process, we know this because most of us have studied something, attended college, university, a night class, even if it’s something non-vocational such as sewing or baking.
Fear and resistance to the changes you fear and yearn for in equal measure disappears when you begin to learn everything you should have learned in childhood if we all lived in an ideal and perfect world.
Acquiring the knowledge you need is not painful, lengthy, complex or time consuming, instead it’s fascinating, addictive and astonishingly quick, producing tangible results in hours and days.
I understand why it’s so difficult to believe in magic, I’ve been there and it scared me too because I was aware that if something simple and magical existed then I would be left with no excuses, I would have to make the changes my sore and exhausted heart wanted and needed and in reality that was the fear.
…but none of the things I feared happened, not one of them, you see they were all made up by mind and thinking, mind’s only reference is the past so it makes all it’s decisions based on that, but it’s not mind’s job to deal with all the tasks we assign to it everyday in an attempt to solve our emotional pain, it’s soul’s job!
There isn’t a second of the day when you don’t have access to the wisdom of your own soul but fear is preventing you from listening.
Where knowledge is, fear can’t be.
Do you want an example of simplicity + knowledge + magic= fearlessness?
When children cry, emotionally literate parents say, ‘let me hold you while you cry’.
The child will grow up learning that sadness is an inherent part of life, that it happens sometimes and it’s safe to cry.
A child raised in a climate of emotional illiteracy will at best be given an avoidance or distraction technique ‘here’s a sweetie, a dummy, a toy, or look there’s some moo cows’!
At worst a child experiences actual harm for expressing sadness, pain or disappointment, he or she may be scolded, be made fun, ignored or rejected.
In both scenarios the message that’s been internalised is that sadness is wrong, crying is bad.
We emerge into adulthood with this scant information and so the sweetie, the dummy and the toy become the new car, bigger house, a flashy vacation.
…and on and on the cycle goes as we attempt to fill the aching void with more and more stuff, meanwhile we spend a small fortune trying to fix what isn’t broken and fear remains.