If you have been on a healing journey for any length of time you will be aware by now that every issue we have has its roots in our inability to perceive ourselves as loveable.
In todays blog I explain the simple origins of this pernicious malady so you can then understand how equally simple it is to start loving yourself, now, today, without delay, because the longer you delay, the longer you will be surrounded by f*%&wits who drain the life out of you.
As a society we are frankly rubbish at self-aggrandising; we don’t know how to big ourselves up, sing our own praises, accept a compliment, acknowledge our skills and abilities or have much faith in ourselves to learn new ones.
So why do we find it so hard to love ourselves? The answer is simple, we have been taught step-by-step from an early age that it’s not safe to do so.
The script that’s running originates from internalised childhood messages that teach us that unless we behave just like everyone else and if we are not happy, we will be the odd one out, unpopular and that illustrating any signs of uniqueness is the fastest way to be rejected, labelled and criticised.
It often begins with expressions that appear to be quite innocuous on the surface; “Huh look at her, she thinks she’s so clever’. “OMG! he thinks he’s so handsome”.
…but when these put downs are repeated often enough, we quickly learn to hide our light under a bushel, to shrink, become invisible and so spend the rest of our lives striving for attenuation, consequently we don’t dare allow our individuality to shine forth or share our gifts, skills and abilities with the world.
…and so, we settle for second and third best in our relationships and our working life, we play is safe in order to guarantee the continuation of being accepted, loved and cared for.
Extracting ourselves from this tangled web of complexity isn’t a process there is no road map or A,B and C, instead these internalised messages are yet another issue that dissolves without your input or effort when we learn to be okay with what we are feeling, because when we learn to manage and understand our difficult emotions instead of fearing and avoiding them we are sending out a loud, clear and resounding message that says ‘I love myself’.