What kind of person do you want to be (tick as many as you like)
- Super confident
- Able to establish boundaries and stick to them
- Able to say no, without feeling bad or guilty
- Have faith in yourself and your skills and abilities
- To be more authentic, not to have to wear masks
- The kind who doesn’t care for what others think
- More discerning
- To trust yourself more
- To be fearless
- To love yourself
What kind of life do you dream of? (tick as many as you like)
- At one with nature, living close to a forest, ocean or open countryside
- Having oodles of free time
- To have time to listen to and obey the rhythms of your body
- Financially secure
- Work as few hours as possible for as much money as possible
- Live a more spiritual centred life, trusting in your innate wisdom
- Work remotely from anywhere in the world
- In a blissful partnership with your soul mate
- Not be forced to be nice to people you don’t like
- To never have to compromise on your values, ideals and integrity
Okay here is a list of the things you must do to get all the above…
Yes, that’s right just one thing; feel.
With every emotion we are willing to allow to surface and be felt without;
- Avoiding it
- Demonising it
- Forming a judgment around it
- Attempting to ‘heal’ it
- Opening a new dialogue around it
- Using distraction techniques i.e., TV, shopping, sex, food, healing etc
- Putting a time limit on it
We grow into a person we barely recognise and begin to live the best possible version of our life with astonishing speed when we learn to accept, manage and love our uncomfortable emotions.
Learning how to be okay with not being okay is not a lengthy, complex or painful experience and if you are sat there right now thinking this seems just a bit too good to be true, I shall end this blog post by proving it!
One commonality all people on a healing journey share is that of comparing our lives to other people, we all either know somebody personally, or know of somebody such as a person who is rich, famous, hugely popular and appears to ‘have it all’ and throughout our lives we ask ourselves ‘why do some people have such charmed lives, while others have just the opposite’?
The simple answer to this oft repeated question is that these people we compare our lives to would have been allowed to feel growing up.
Yes, it really is that simple.
When we can give our emotions free expression in childhood we gain a sense of self;
Self- Confidence, belief, love, trust and esteem
This doesn’t mean that these children had an idyllic childhood, some sadly may have been very far removed from perfection or anything that even comes close, but despite whatever else was going on for them, they were not shamed or scolded for feeling whatever it was they were feeling.
- They were not taught that what they are feeling is bad and that an avoidance technique or a distraction was needed.
- They were not ‘naughty boys and bad girls’ for displaying behaviour resulting from an emotion.
- Their acceptance of a place within the family unit was not dependent on them masking how they were feeling.
Us, and our emotions are so closely interwoven that when our feelings are not given true expression and are of no consequence, we emerge into adulthood believing, thinking and feeling that we are of no consequence.