What if everything you are going through is preparing you for what you asked for?
When our prayers and heartfelt requests for help appear to go unanswered by the Universe, Divine, Love, Creator, Soul or Gladys if you like, the extent of the disappointment we experience is such a crushing blow when we already felt despairing and apathetic.
There’s something else going on though, something which has an even greater impact on our self-esteem and our ability to begin to cultivate a trusting relationship with this magnificent, creative, intelligent and unconditionally loving energy; we tell ourselves that we were right all along in our belief that we are not good enough to have our requests answered and so it becomes a cycle of self-fulfilling prophesies.
On Millennium Eve I put out a request for the soul mate that my heart had ached for, for more than a decade, he showed up less than a year after I swapped New Age for Spirituality and healing it for feeling it but in the meantime, another long decade there wasn’t a sign of him.
If my plea had been answered at the time I requested it, I now clearly understand that it would have made my already pitifully sad and painfully difficult life a million times more miserable than it already was.
I had non-existent self-esteem back then, I thought a boundary was a fence around my house and my idea of a loving, committed and equal relationship with a soul mate was based on superficialities such as physical appearances, status and money.
Had this man showed up so would my mountains of insecurities, fears and shame as every moment of this relationship I would have been stamping my feet for attention, validation and praise while accusing him of cheating if he was two minutes late through the door, the rest of the time would have been spent in the beauty salon, whether I could afford it or not ensuring that the looks I believed were so integral to the relationship were maintained.
In other words, it would have been one long round of rows, conflict and sleepless nights spent in fear of him leaving which of course would have inevitably become yet another self-fulfilling prophesy.
When my soul mate did show up it was so easy to look back and clearly see that my request had been answered via what I needed and not what I wanted which is typical of Love because it never, ever gives us what we want but it never fails to give us what we need, which in this scenario was the resolution of all my pain and fear so that I understood what love was while simultaneously believing I was worthy of receiving it and capable of giving it because what I envisaged and believed was love back on millennium eve looked nothing at all like love, it was simply prostitution in return for gifts and endless compliments.
Your relationship with this energy I call ‘Soul’ is so easy to begin when you understand how it operates Love’s MO (modus operandi) is to always give us what we need so that we have the power to create what we want for ourselves, then go on to love, enjoy and have gratitude for all that we have created, within this soulful idyll we finally get to live our lives asking ‘why has this happened for me’? instead of why has this happened to me.
We become the victor instead if the victim.